3 Ways Affirmations Help Us Become Someone New
I teach affirmations all the time. I have overcome so much fear through affirmations, that I cannot help but teach it as one of the most powerful tools in my toolbox. Affirmations are simple statements in the present tense, that can, over time and through consistent repetition, change our lives.
Affirmations are not magic words. They are repetition. They are re-parenting. They are a way of speaking to the parts of ourselves that learned fear, shame, self-doubt, and self-abandonment before we had the power to question those lessons.
The subconscious mind is shaped by what we hear over and over again. For many of us, that was not kindness. It was criticism. It was manipulation. It was pressure. It was “Who do you think you are?” It was “What’s wrong with you?” It was “Stop taking up space! Stay small, stay useful, stay quiet.”
So, when we use affirmations, we are not pretending or faking it, although it may feel that way. We are interrupting old programming.
We are saying:
I am safe now.
I can trust myself.
I am allowed to take up space.
I can become someone my inner child never had permission to be.
Research on self-affirmation shows that it can help people become less defensive and more open to change, especially when they reflect on their deeper values and sense of self-worth. Cohen and Sherman describe self-affirmation as a way of protecting our sense of integrity so we can face difficult information without collapsing or attacking ourselves.
And this is the part I love: brain research also suggests that self-affirmation activates areas connected to self-processing and reward, especially when people imagine their future selves. In other words, when we affirm who we are becoming, the brain begins to participate.
That matters.
Affirmations can feel strange at first, especially when your nervous system is used to criticism or fear. That’s okay. The point is not to force yourself to believe something overnight. The point is to keep offering your mind a different message until it has something healthier to work with. Over time, those words can become a bridge between the person you were taught to be and the person you are choosing to become. Eventually, affirmations become home.
