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I recently watched Chand Mera Dil, a Bollywood film starring Lakshya Lalwani (of Kill and Ba**ds of Bollywood fame) and Ananya Pandey (Chunky’s daughter), under Karan Johar’s Dharma banner. I am always keen to watch Karan Johar films, because they are often deep dramas about love and family. And, they are often feminist.

Chand Mera Dil is no different. And, it’s a feminist, ultra-modern film that bombed at the box office, precisely because patriarchy is still alive and well, which is why the masses didn’t like the film. I loved it, and in this post, I will detail the finesse with which this film explores patriarchy and how it harms relationships. I want to say that both Lakshya and Ananya deserve awards for their performances. This was the first time I’ve seen Ananya own a film, that too with a skilled co-star – I am very impressed and look forward to more from her. I also found Elvis Jose’s performance outstanding as Aarav’s supportive friend.

Spoiler alerts start here.

Aarav (played by Lakshya) is enrolled in a mechanical engineering undergraduate program, and falls in love with Chandni (Ananya). She notices him because he wears the same color as her everyday – he is able to do this because he watches her leave her dorm (no, he’s not a creep – the girls’ dorm faces the boys’ dorm) and then decides to wear the color she is wearing so she will notice him. He is a bit shy and doesn’t ask her out, so she makes the first move.

Their romance is innocent and fairytale, and eventually they become physically intimate. All is hunky dory until Ananya finds out she is pregnant. This is where the film shifts, but not in the usual Bollywood style. It’s not what you would expect.

Here’s a breakdown of how I see the film as a progressive drama that tries to fight the toxic patriarchy:

1. The successful woman: Chandni is portrayed as a smart young woman who is poised, confident, and emotionally intelligent. She displays a lot more emotional maturity than her lover, Aarav. Despite trauma, she perserveres as a professional, a woman, and a young mother.
2. Trauma: Chandni clearly shares her past with Aarav. She grew up in a household with domestic violence. Her father would beat her mother. Aarav also shares that his family would always seem perfect from the outside but was really shallow and hollow in reality.
3. The typical man: Aarav is ambitious, emotionally a little immature, and bottled up. This makes sense based on his upbringing, which was focused on appearances, and suppressing emotions.
4. Pro-choice: The film presents a strong pro-abortion stance, with the focus on the young couple’s ambitions, careers, and more planned lifestyles. This is embodied by the main characters’ parents, and even employers when Aarav goes for job interviews. As a young twenty-something with a wife and child, his interviewers mock him, using the term “child marriage’ to suggest the strong social norm of marrying late to prioritize career.
5. Conflicting Norms: The film portrays several interesting and contradictory social norms, one of which is the lack of stigma around Aarav and Chandni getting married and having a child in university, with super supportive friends – a wonderful thing. The lack of stigma around abortion is also a strong norm. The pressure to be successful and independent for women, evidenced by Chandni’s Mom, who had to raise her alone after her father left them, is also evident, and just as powerful as the typical patriarchal family, exemplified by Aarav’s parents, with his wise, progressive and communicative sister also showing the emotional intelligence of women.
6. Emotional resilience: Ananya shows emotional resilience and independence, offering to care for her child on her own when she realizes she feels a connection to the pregnancy and wants to keep the child. Aarav is frustrated and confused, because they had previously agreed to an abortion. He feels having the baby now would jeopardize his career and hers.
7. Domestic Violence: The plot twist comes when Aarav finally lands a job and it’s nowhwere near what he wants, and Chandni already has a higher-paying job – this makes him feel emasculated. Both are exhausted from childcare and studying for exams and finding work. Aarav comes home disappointed with the job he has landed. Chandni has thrown a party for him, which he dislikes. When their friends leave, they start arguing. Aarav blames Chandni for the loss of his career path, and for his exhaustion. Chandni mentions that Aarav has no clue what she has been through in childbirth and becoming a mother. Things get heated, and he grabs her chin in anger and shoves her against the wall. She recoils and locks herself up in a room with the baby. Aarav apologizes profusely, but Chandni leaves with the baby.
8. Respect: There is a moment in the film when Ananya articulates one of the key themes being portrayed: respect for women. The implication is that love is not enough – there must also be respect. Respect for all the invisible and unpaid labors of being a mother: the physical, emotional and mental upheavals women go through in becoming mothers. A clear feminist stance that calls for understanding and support, not blame for women, who go through so much, comes through and it’s presented in a real and reasonable way.
9. Jealousy: While Aarav’s life becomes miserable and stuck, we see that Chandni has secured a good job and a nice apartment. She is able to take care of baby Kavya on her own. She is also friends with a co-worker (played breezily by Paresh Pahuja) who is supportive, emotionally secure, and clearly likes her. Chandni isn’t ready for another relationship and sets her boundaries with Kevin, which he respects. But Aarav responds with jealousy, which is harmful, and shows how he struggles with letting her go, despite the fact that she initiated divorce proceedings with him. At one point, Aarav slut-shames Chandni by insinuating that she has moved on with Kevin.
10. Loyalty: Chandni remains loyal to Aarav, despite their separation. Both struggle with their emotional pain. It’s clear that trust is an issue for her due to her past trauma, but she works hard to ensure Aarav spends time with Kavya. When both families decide to intervene, Aarav admits that the reason for their separation was domestic violence. Both families explode with emotions. Chandni – in what I see as an act of loyalty, and love – lies, saying that she is in a relationship with Kevin, and this is the reason for the separation. Chandni feels safe with Kevin and decides to pursue a relationship with him later on, but it’s clear that she is only doing this for safety, not for love. Even Kevin articulates this, saying he has enough love for both of them.
11. Letting go: Aarav decides to pursue his masters in the US. He chooses to tell Chandni on the day of her engagement to Kevin. He also apologizes to her, showing that he has understood why it was wrong to blame her, and he finally takes accountability for his behavior and shows that he is growing emotionally. Two years later, when he returns to India for an alumni reunion having completed his Masters with flying colors, we learn that Chandni broke off her engagement to Kevin the day of the ceremony. She didn’t tell Aarav because she understood that he needed to fulfill his ambition.
12. Love: Throughout the film, despite the intense pain both Aarav and Chandni go through, through societal expectations, and family interference, it’s clear that they love each other. Ultimately, true love wins, because they reunite at the alumni event, after Chandni shares how much she has missed Aarav, but she understood she had to let him go so that he could pursue his dreams.

The film is a very realistic representation of how difficult it can be to navigate relationships in modern times, when so many competing demands and pressures can break our resolve and commitment. I feel this film masterfully demonstrates the struggle women and men face in a patriarchy that forces them into stereotypical roles, along with capitalistic pressures to amass material wealth, and a host of other pressures to be “successful”.

The true, authentic path is always with what love would do. In this case, the old adage works: if you love something, let it go and if it comes back, it was yours to begin with. I highly recommend watching the film.