Integritus Prime

In our Beyond Medicine series on Baggage Claim we look at different types of emotional baggage that families carry. It could be intergenerational families, extended families or two completely different families.

One example is when younger family members carry on the baggage from their older family members, or suffer because of that. Usually someone in the older family has wronged someone and of another family and it starts a feud.  This family feud is passed down the line so the children are told to avoid or not have anything to do with the younger members of that particular family. At times the reason may not be given or clear to the younger members. The incident or occurrence could have been minor and easily resolved but due to ego, patriarchy, religion, or other causes, the feud is passed on.

The classic example that comes to mind is Romeo and Juliet. They fell in love but due to the family feud, could not live together and suffered for it. There are many such examples in history across various cultures and countries.

Another type of baggage between families is when two or three related families live together. Generally there are lots of competitions, attention seeking or being good to avoid abuse or punishment. So the younger members tell tales or lies about their cousins who then get beaten or punished. Sometimes an elder sibling may bully or abuse the younger ones from the other families. As they all grow older, they carry this baggage and avoid contact with those family members.

Feuding in-laws is also not uncommon. The groom’s family’s expectations from the bride and her family or vice versa may be unreasonable and abusive. This may severely strain the wedded couple’s relationship. If they are able to stay married, then they may internalize these and have similar baggage when their children decide to get married.

There maybe other types of baggage between families, share with us so we can all claim our baggage, unpack, sort and deal with it to lead better lives.