Integritus Prime

I went to the pool today, as usual. When I got there, I was excited because it was empty and I was thinking of what a great swim I would have. Yes, I’m obsessed with swimming. And yes, I am an introvert. For more on my swimming journey after almost drowning at age ten, see my initial post.

Alas, when I got there and unpacked my gear, I noticed my goggles were missing. This was a bummer. I wondered if I should go home and come back later.

I decided. I would work with what I had. I left my paddles and snorkel in my locker, and walked to the pool with just my swimming cap, nose clip and pull buoy.

At first, I tried kicking with my hands on the pull buoy, keeping my head above water. This was wholly unsatisfying, because my body was not horizontal and poor form is useless when doing any swim drill. I gave up after 200 meters.

Next, I decided to “swim blind”. In other words, to swim with my eyes closed. Because the pool was quite empty and I had two lanes to myself, with barriers on each side, my idea seemed less crazy.

I began swimming, eyes closed, and feeling my way. I breathed to the side, which is something I am still working to get just right. Very soon, I hit the barrier on my right.

Learning: I was swimming to the right, instead of in a straight line. I decided to correct this.

Still with eyes closed, I started to swim more mindfully, working to correct my direction by feel. I noticed the more I practiced, the more my directionality improved.

A helpful side effect? I started breathing better. I was doing everything by feel, without the distraction of sight. This helped me feel my body rotation and that helped me rotate my head better so I could breathe more smoothly.

By the time I finished swimming for today, I had figured out how to swim in a straight line, and how to breathe more easefully. I was so glad I had forgotten my goggles. This mistake had brought me so much learning and confidence. I coached myself throughout my workout, telling myself I could do this. I had the barriers to contain my swim, and I would pause after 4 or 5 breaths to see if I was swimming in a straight line.

I went home feeling more efficacious. I was glad I hadn’t judged myself for the error I made while packing. I was disappointed for a few minutes, but then I persisted. That persistence paid off in a beautiful way. I am less afraid of the water than I was yesterday, despite not being able to see while swimming. This is because I was forced to be more mindful while swimming today.

I am always marveling at how mistakes can propel us in unexpected directions. Today, my mistake was so valuable, that I may even practice swimming with eyes closed again. Intentionally this time, with the goal of improving my breathing and body rotation.

Edit: The next day, I showed up to the pool and reached three new milestones:

1. I swam with side breathing in the 50-meter pool for the first time, conquering my lingering fear in the deep section
2. I swam 200m with side breathing, doubling my previous distance (a week later I was at 500m)
3. I swam 1.1km and then did some more breathing practice — my longest distance yet

It just goes to show — mistakes can be profoundly helpful. If we can stay open to the moment and build on our reality, we can make progress in unexpected ways. 

Share with me the last time you made a mistake and it helped you.