Integritus Prime

I was ten years old. I had been attending a two-week swimming class with my brother and some neighborhood friends. After the two weeks, my comfort level in the water was high. It was time for the “exam” in which I had to dive and swim for a short distance.

As I dove in, I felt really comfortable. I was holding my breath (red flag). And I had no goggles so my eyes were closed (red flag). I somehow twisted my body and ended up swimming into the center of the pool which was very deep, while the class had never involved being in the deep section of the pool (red flag). I ran out of breath and came up for air. My feet didn’t touch the bottom.

I panicked.

I began to cough, splutter, take in water, and basically, drown.

Fortunately, my friends saved me. I was brought to the edge of the pool and I promptly got out. Our teacher said to get back in and finish my “exam” and I refused.

Fear had set in.

Since that day, I developed all kinds of limiting beliefs. Let’s list them:

1. I must have drowned in a past life.
2. I am so uncoordinated in the water.
3. I am not meant for swimming.
4. Swimming is so hard.
5. It’s too hard to breathe while swimming.
6. There’s too much to remember.

Since that day, I’ve stayed away from swimming, but I love the ocean so I’ve been spending time in the shallow waters, swimming with my head above water, and in general just relaxing in the water and feeling the lull of the waves.

Fast forward to about 3 months ago. I was told by two physiotherapists that I had to swim, because my knee injuries could not sustain any more dancing or Zumba. Dancing is the love of my life, so I was heartbroken.

Swimming as my main exercise? You HAD to be kidding.

Wrong. They were serious.

It took me a month to get used to the idea. While traveling in the US, I discussed my predicament with my close friends and my complete lack of faith in my ability to twist my head and breathe while swimming. They said three words: use a snorkel.

I came back from my month of travels. I called the Aquatic Centre, and they said I had to have a swimming cap. I went out and bought it. I procrastinated.

My Dad was my staunch support – thanks to him I made it to the pool and he and I swam together for a few days, even though it triggered his asthma and made him very tired (he didn’t give up golfing three days a week). But he had gotten me started.

My Mom became my cheerleader – she literally sat near my lane and gave me encouragement, feedback, thumbs ups, and her dazzling smile.

As a next step, I bought a snorkel. It brought me so much peace to be able to hold my head under the water and focus on swimming. Then, after a little while, I noticed water entering the snorkel. Familiar drowning feeling.

I bought a better snorkel. It improved the experience. I started swimming laps. Two weeks ago, I swam 20 laps.

Two days later, I got into the 50-meter pool, because the 25-meter pool was closed. I had learned a more efficient stroke on YouTube, and I wanted to try it out. I swam toward the deep end and stopped. On the next lap, I decided to venture all the way to the end of the deep section – 3.5 meters deep. I not only swam double the length of the pool for each lap, I was able to swim calmly, noticing my fear and overcoming it. It was a victory, because now I was facing my fear of being in deep water.

I bought a front snorkel and experimented some more. It was way more comfortable.

My limiting beliefs are starting to fade away. Was I still afraid when my feet don’t touch the bottom? Yes.

I watched a video recently about “natural float” and the next day, I tried it. It works. So now, my feet don’t have to touch the bottom. I have practiced floating three times on three different days, and it works.

I am less afraid today than I was yesterday, and three months ago. And 38 years ago. I am less afraid each day. And I am in awe of how life has changed for me. My body CRAVES the pool now.

What I have learned so far:

• Take your time
• Don’t bother with what others think or if they judge you
• Consider advice but do what you’re ready to try
• Keep at it
• Focus on relaxing
• Focus on technique
• Get one technique right then add another
• Keep your cheerleaders close

Step by step, we can create a new reality. What fear are you facing right now? I’m with you. You’ve got this! If I can make swimming my main workout, anything is possible!