How Patriarchy Harms Men
In the patriarchal system, from a very early age boys are expected to grow up to be supermen. In our recent episode on Beyond Medicine we address some of the unrealistic expectations that patriarchy places on boys and men.
In the last episode in this blog series, we deliberated on how boys are expected to deal with their emotions, in the same way they are expected to deal with everything that life and circumstances throw at them: handle it. Boys and men are expected to handle everything on their own. They are expected to know everything and not ask for help, as it will make them look weak. Often they are told that they can do it alone.
Similarly, for health and mental issues, they are expected to ‘deal’ with it. Often the ‘macho’ or ‘indestructible’ attitude they develop prevents them from seeking medical help for any physical condition until it is too late. Adding to the stress is the bottling up of these frustrations and emotions that also take a toll on their mental health.
Seeking mental health support is considered ‘abnormal behavior’ by patriarchal standards. Hence, men usually start dealing with these unrealistic expectations in their own ways or copying what other men do. Taking to alcohol, drugs, smoking, sexual exploitation or other harmful actions are some of the harmful ways men often cope.
Men’s behavior may also show aggression or bursts of anger. They may end up starting fights, perpetrating domestic violence or intimate partner violence. Depression is another common outcome, often resulting in self-harm, including suicide.
If you look at World Health Organization statistics, men have a shorter life span, have higher risks for non-communicable diseases as well as higher rates of smoking, alcohol and drug abuse and lower rates of health seeking behavior.
All these harms can be avoided if such unrealistic expectations were not placed on men in the first place, yet the influence of patriarchy remains strong in many societies. It is okay for everyone to ask for help, seek physical health advice and embrace safe ways to deal with stress. It is a sign of strength to ask for help and advice as not everyone knows everything. Also, we are all different and excel in different fields, so learning from each other is the way to go.
Share with us your experience with stoic men and let’s all learn together to heal so we can live healthier and happier lives.
