Integritus Prime

In our new Beyond Medicine (BM) series – Man-ic Masculinity: How Patriarchy Harms Boys and Men, we look at a number of ways that patriarchy affects boys and men. In the past episodes of BM we had discussions on how patriarchy affects women. This has been a real issue for eons but in this series we look at how it negatively affects boys and men as well. 

Patriarchy is still alive and being practiced in many cultures and countries, irrespective of color, creed or nationality. Patriarchal practices are actively being passed down the generations and continue to harm everyone (girls, boys, women, men and non-binary persons). Patriarchy is strongly embedded in tradition, religion and culture. Unless we proactively address and deal with it, the conditioning of boys and men will continue to take place. Let’s look at how boys and men are affected.

1. Strength: One very restrictive and stereotypical definition of what a male ‘has to be’ under patriarchy is that men need to appear strong (physically and mentally), be dominant and not show any signs of weakness (physical or mental) or vulnerability. In other words they are expected to be ‘supermen’.
2. Suppression: From birth, babies are put in stereotyped boxes where the boys wear blue and are given toys that ‘boys’ should be playing with. Girls are stylized in pink and considered weak and a liability. As they grow into toddlers, the same routine continues for boys and they are told not to cry like a girl (crying is weak ‘like girls’). From a very early age boys are expected to suppress their emotions; play with boys and be competitive and/or aggressive.
3. Rage: All their pain, hurt, anger and frustration starts to build up from a very young age. By the time boys reach adolescence, in addition to hormonal changes, they become very unsettled, confused, aggressive, restless and rebel against any and all authority and advice. Some even explode with anger to cope with their suppressed emotions, pain and resulting dilemmas. Parents, friends and relatives feel that they cannot get through to these adolescents who, in turn feel that no one understands them.
4. Providers: In addition to the usual upheavals of adolescence, boys are told to become responsible, and study to become someone proficient, as they have to be the providers for the family. They are encouraged to play sports and be competitive; know everything so they don’t have to ask anyone and be macho as they are superior to women and girls. 
5. Harmful Coping Mechanisms like Addiction and Aggression: As adults, men may continue to use alcohol, drugs or tobacco smoking as coping mechanisms for their pain, anger and frustrations. Their behavior of using alcohol, womanizing and being aggressive is accepted as ‘normal’. Alcohol abuse may lead to domestic violence. Small incidents may serve as a trigger for verbal or physical outbursts and/or violence or abuse of others (humans or animals).
6. Perpetuating the Conditioning: They tend to dislike or ridicule other men and boys who are kind and show compassion. They tend to become homophobic. There are other long-term effects of internalized patriarchy for men, such as health effects, which we will discuss in our upcoming series.

Share your thoughts and experiences with men conditioned by patriarchy.