Integritus Prime

In the final episode of Man-ic Masculinity on our Beyond Medicine series, we looked at how patriarchy frames men as superior to women.  In previous episodes, we discussed various ways in which patriarchy harms boys and men: emotional suppression, and being the stoic provider. The stress that these requirements or expectations put on boys and men harm them in many ways including physical, mental and social.

Here we look at 3 ways men were/are made to feel (falsely) superior:

1.     In the not too distant past, and even now in some traditions, men are treated as ‘gods’. To be given priority in everything that is good, such as food, clothes, status etc. They were fed first with the best foods and the rest was for women and children. This happened not only in homes but also in community gatherings like weddings and meetings. They sat in front for meetings and women were expected to sit at the back and serve snacks and/or meals. 

2.   Men and boys are expected to be educated or acquire skills so they can earn money and look after the family, with the subtle implication that women and girls cannot do this as well, as they are ‘inferior’ or weak. Some men even believe that ‘women belong in the kitchen’ or are only useful for giving birth to and looking after babies. For many years, the patriarchy has encouraged men to control women and children and keep women as housewives. Girls were trained to entice nice husbands, please them, stay loyal to them no matter what, and produce (often male) heirs.

3.     When men believe in this superiority and achieve success in work or sports, they tend to use other people – especially women and girls – as sex objects. Women and girls are treated as inferior – for instance men who are sports or music celebrities sleep with many cheerleaders and fans respectively as a form of conquest. Women are conditioned to hero-worship celebrities and see this form of casual sex as an honor. Men can have sexual relationships with many women and girls and it is often considered ‘macho’ whereas if girls do the same they are called derogatory names such as ‘slut’. This is definitely an example of a double standard that patriarchy has established.

Once boys and men realize that patriarchal standards are not fair to them or to women, they become more stressed because being trapped by social norms and breaking out of them are both difficult. Since they are not expected to express their stress and deal with it in a healthy way, they take to unhealthy ways of coping. Use of alcohol, drugs and tobacco products are common in men. Their life span is shorter than women as they suffer from undiagnosed and untreated diseases especially non-communicable diseases (NCDs) like heart disease, and they tend to socially isolate themselves and die early.

Share with us your experiences with men being treated as superior.