Integritus Prime

Last week you heard about my overnight experiences in the ER at UCSF. In this post I tell you how it ended.

6.30am on April 5, and my swelling was still the same. The fever was three degrees down to 100. I started to doze off, having slept only an hour or so. I woke up a couple of hours later and felt less feverish.

The day nurse practitioner came in and examined my leg, saying she thought it was still looking the same but she could see small signs of the swelling receding, and that I could go home in the evening if nothing worsened.

Finally, a small sign of recovery! I was elated. I tried to sleep but the observation unit is a busy and loud place, so I settled for some Hindi music on YouTube. Emily came to visit me and brought me some divine orange-turmeric juice. I also had a little apple juice, sticking to a liquid diet to avoid throwing up again.

I had ample time to reflect on life, lying there all night and most of the next day. I realized that this experience was re-affirming my lifestyle and values: spend time with loved ones, prioritize relationships, and focus on your calling in life. Steer clear of drama. Have fun. The rest is simply not that important.

I also thought about the zero support I received from my health insurance provider. I had started my health insurance renewal process over a month ago, and the system kept asking me to upload the same documents, which I did. When I realized I had to go to the ER, I called to ask if my visit would be covered, and they had no record of my application, and said it may take 30-60 days to process it once they find it. I was disgusted by this and stressed too, but I chose to focus on my wellbeing first.

By releasing the tension around uncertainty and by accepting the financial danger, I was able to let go of unnecessary stress and be present with my healing process. I realized this was another lesson in receiving, for someone who is a chronic giver. It was a healing experience facilitated by drugs I have never taken, showing me that sometimes you have to go where you don’t typically go, and trust that what’s needed will be provided. I am grateful to UCSF for their competence and efficiency but most of all, for their human touch and actual care.

I am grateful for all the experiences I had, for they tested me in so many aspects: pain tolerance, uncertainty, vulnerability, and mortality. I’m humbled by the power of bacteria, good and bad.

Fortunately, UCSF offered to advocate for me, and soon got my provider to respond and cover my costs. I am so grateful for that.

This experience put so much into perspective for me about how to live. By focusing on my wellness, with Emily’s help, who is a formidable patient advocate, I was able to make the best of a scary and unexpected attack of Alien Leg Syndrome. I was able to embrace gratitude in so many ways.

Let’s face it, cellulitis is too benign a name for something that makes your skin turn radioactive red. That’s alien technology, man. I’m back to thriving and enjoying life. If I have one message for you, it’s this: stay away from these particular aliens. They don’t belong in our legs.

Hooked up to IVs and monitoring devices in the ER