Integritus Prime

There’s so much written about abuse on vulnerable people that it is hard to capture everything in this blog. However, as a follow up to our Beyond Medicine: Men, Trauma and Food series, let’s look at some signs of abuse in adults that we can discern and create awareness on, as well as help loved ones to overcome. Abuse in any form causes lasting trauma and can result in negative behavior and illness.

There are many types of abuse such as physical, emotional, mental, sexual, exploitation, neglect and abandonment. Each of these types of abuse leaves specific signals, for example physical abuse would result in bruises, broken bones and other wounds. Any form of abuse or childhood adverse event (ACE) that causes trauma and leaves lasting effects leaves signs that can be noticed in adults. When we are aware and observe these signs, then we may understand why such behaviors exist and endeavor to help our loved ones deal with the issues. Abuse leading to trauma needs to be dealt with – it cannot be ignored or buried in our consciousness as it invariably surfaces in negative ways, causing stress, violence, and leading to ill-health and/or lifestyle diseases.

There are many signs of abuse. Ten of these in adults, as we discuss in our Beyond Medicine series, and have written about previously, are:

1. Anger and aggression: often this anger and violence results from suppressed rage, which is the emotion we feel when we are being abused.
2. Anxiety: we can develop anxiety due to the fear of abuse, worry about future abusive events, and other factors, such as being seen and judged.
3. Depression or sadness, and suicidal tendencies: we may succumb to depression after being abused, and stop wanting to live.
4. Low self-esteem: abuse leaves us feeling dirty and ashamed, and this can often inhibit us in our careers and relationships, because our self-esteem has suffered.
5. Guilt: we tend to assume that we did something to deserve the abuse, or feel guilty for the pleasurable parts of abuse (especially sexual abuse), and this can really hold us back in relationships.
6. PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder): this can haunt us for many years, as we have sudden episodes or flashbacks or triggers where we relive the abuse and go into fight or flight mode.
7. Substance abuse (alcohol, drugs and smoking): To dull our emotional and sometimes physical pain, we may turn to substances, and then become addicted, which can seriously disrupt our lives and health.
8. Eating disorders (bulimia, anorexia nervosa): a sense of self-loathing can emerge from being abused, so we express this through abuse of our bodies using food.
9. Nightmares, disturbing memories and dissociation: our subconscious carries the memories of abuse, which can show up through nightmares, night terrors, and other episodes in which we have experiences where we detach from our own bodies.
10. NCDs or other physical illnesses: suppressed pain and anger can lead to increased stress, which in turn can lead to some of the issues mentioned above, as well as increase risk factors for NCDs such as obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure and heart disease, and autoimmune conditions like cancer, lichen planus, or fibromyalgia.

If adults are being abused in the present, they may also show a change in behavior such as exhaustion, disorientation, inability to cope, irritation and mood swings.

When we witness such signs in our friends, colleagues or family, then we can make an effort to understand what is going on in nonjudgmental ways, and help them if we can. One way is to encourage them to talk about their feelings with a trusted person, take healthy stress relieving measures or go for counseling or coaching. This will not only help them to deal with their trauma but hopefully over time get over the adverse experience and prevent physical illnesses.

Dealing with abuse and trauma will help us live in authentic ways, enjoying happiness and fulfillment and bringing joy to ourselves and loved ones.

Share with us your experiences on how you helped someone who suffered abuse.

This blog post is written by our inimitable Wellness Adviser, Dr. Margaret Cornelius.